Kaffeenated

2006-11-27T07:55:00.000-08:00

The Da Vinci Code

Well, the movie is out on DVD now... for whatever that's worth. This is one where I have to seriously recommend the book. The story and subject matter here are probably a little too deep and a little too cerebral to be adequately dealt with in a Ron Howard film (sorry Ron).

There just wasn't anything terribly compelling or tense in this rather pedestrian adaptation. Tom Hanks gives a surprisingly lackluster performance as Langdon. Jean Reno was completely wasted in the throw-away role of Bezu Fache. Props to Ian McKellan as the only one who brought some intensity to the screen.

Save yourself the rental fee, put the $5 towards buying the paperback.

2006-11-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

Slither is Cool

While it's billed as a blend of heart-stopping terror and humor, the humor is what really stands out in this excellent film. The whole cast does a great job, with stand out performances being turned in by Michael Rooker as the "squid" and Chief of police Nathan Fillion delivering some terrific one-liners. The plot is, of course, nothing terribly new (The Blob, Independence Day, Starship Troopers even have all used the "alien locust" story to some extent), but the grotesque effects and great delivery are what make this a good movie. The fight with the zombie deer doesn't hurt, either.

I can't recommend Slither as a scary movie. And really, I have to chuckle a bit at the web site declaring it will change the face of horror. It certainly is a FUN movie, though, and well worth watching.

2006-11-09T11:20:00.000-08:00

A Comment on World of Warcaft

So, if you're like me and 6,999,998 other people, you play WoW. My
account is actually on hold right now until The Burning Crusade comes
out - I dislike raids and got tired of doing the same 5-man stuff
umpteen times. Over the past couple of months, I've had the opportunity
to try both Guild Wars and City of Villains. By and large, I think WoW
stomps both of these in terms of gameplay, variety. polish, etc. But
the one thing that both GW and CoV pwn WoW in is healing.

WoW emphasizes group play, which is great - it creates a cool social
dynamic and adds a lot of depth to the experience (yes, of course it
has it's downside, too). However, the single most frustrating aspect of
group play, imho anyway, is the way that healing is handled. Healing
isn't fun and, while this is based purely on anecdotal evidence and my
own experience, most people would prefer NOT to play a healing class.
If that's the case, then why on earth does Blizzard continue with the
existing healing mechanics?

Both GW and CoV have self-heal mechanics in place. CoV does it
particularly well - every class has a self-heal spell, and healing
consumables are not on any cooldown or timer. When the boss hits you
for 500, you can pop inspires as fast as you can mash the hot key. That
said, classes exist in CoV that can spec primarily into healing, and if
you happen to have one of those folks along you can tell the difference
- things go much more smoothly. But my point is that you don't NEED a
healer in order to play the game and accomplish anything beyond solo
farming.

I doubt the healing mechanics will ever change in WoW since it might
negatively impact the end-all, be-all raid game. But it sure would be
nice for everyone if they'd make focused healing less essential in the
overall game mechanics.

2006-11-08T17:36:00.000-08:00

In honor of Borat...

I recently received a wonderful little morsel of Spam, that I just felt like I had to share:

"For the protection of your personal assets and information, our company is installing the most protected security system from all systems that available for banking solutions in anti-fraud sphere. Our experts regularly screen each transaction for suspect activity. Recently we located entries to your account from different computers and password picking up activity. Now it is extremely necessary for you to confirm your personal data registered at your account. If this security procedure will not be completed in 48 hours, we will suspend your account indefinitely to prevent fraud transactions from your account. We appreciate you attention to security measures and your sincere cooperation. For the confirmation of your identity and account ownership, we may require some specific information from you.

Thank you for your attention to security measures and please be kindly noted that your assistance can truly help us to protect your account and prevent fraud transactions. We apologize for any inconveniences."

Doesn't that just bring a smile to your heart and a chuckle to your belly?

2006-10-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

Rating Community Web Content or "Look How Cool I Am!"

So hopefully everyone has noticed the trend in user-contributed web content, right? YouTube and Google Video being the big ones. I was struck recently by the harsh tone people take in adding their comments and reviews on these sites. It begs the question - what's the point? Is it to see who can be coolest by being cruelest? Anonymity provides a nice shield for immature idiots to vent, but surely that can't be the only reason? Well... I suppose it could be.

I think Digg has it right - if you like something, you flag it. If you don't like it, just move along.

2006-10-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

The Sentinel on DVD

I'm always tempted to call this "24: The Movie." Anywho - Michael Douglas as the Secret Service guy accused of being a mole, Keifer as the Secret Service guy after him. Pretty good idea, pretty good performances by everyone. This one falls apart on the story a little bit, though. A couple of gaping plot holes (Eva Longoria's character is one and the Secret Service guy who IS the mole being the other). First, why the heck is Eva even in this movie (obvious eye-candy reasons, but c'mon). Second, okay, the Secret Service guy made a deal with KGB 20 years ago... then he decides to walk away... then they threaten his family and he's back to being a mole. So, question... who cares about the 20 year old KGB deal? Why not just threaten his family in the first place?

No shocks or surprises in this one, but again, some good performances and entertaining to watch.

2006-10-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

The Island

Finally saw this one, it's on regular cable now, and I'm glad I saved the money from the theater. It's not a bad movie, per se, it's just not very good. The story unfolds at a disjointed pace - it takes a long time to ramp up, all of sudden it turns into The Matrix, then it winds back down again... sorta. The characters aren't really likable, which makes it hard to identify with their plight. Right about the time the escaped clones make their getaway on a rocket-motorcycle, you'll be asking yourself "where the hell did they learn to do that?" Super-clones, I guess...

Anyway, The Island is probably worth watching vs. reruns of Three's Company, but I wouldn't go out of your way for it.

2006-09-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

Google is the Speed Dial of the Web

I was talking with someone about web usability today and he mentioned that people are not so much using Google to search anymore, they're using it to navigate. It strikes me as being much the same as the near infinite phone number storage we've all come to expect from cell phones. We used to have to memorize phone numbers, or search for them through our personal phone books or *gasp* the paper phone book. Now, they're at our fingertips. The trade-off here is that we no longer remember them - if you don't have your cell/crackberry/pda, you're out of luck.

Web addresses appear to be moving in much the same direction. Even for familiar URL's, addresses they know, people will often start at Google. What does this mean? Well, in the short-term, if you're a web site owner, you should probably figure out how people Google your site and see where you show up in the listings. In the long-term? It probably means vanity URL's will mean even less, SEO will mean even more. It also probably means we'll all need to wear name badges - or have RFID tags implanted in our skulls so we can remember each others names...

2006-09-05T06:34:00.000-07:00

Crank - not worth a theatre visit.

I'm sad to say, Crank was seriously disappointing. Being a fan of Statham, it had such promise. What a great action-movie concept - hitman with nothing to lose and a grudge to settle in his last few hours of life. The delivery could hardly have been more boring. There were moments, of course, though few of them were good action moments. There wasn't a single memorable fight scene or shoot-out. In fact, the action sequences were decidedly amatuerish. Everything was straight cuts back and forth with lots of needless slo-mo. The bulk of the movie is simply Statham running around talking on his cell phone. As I said, there are moments. Statham tossing a cabbie onto the ground declaring him al-quaeda was a nice social commentary. The public sex scene in China town was quite hilarious. But overall, the whole movie was just... boring. Wait for video at least, if not cable.

2006-08-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

Deadwood... the most disappointing season finale ever?

I'm a regular Deadwood watcher (not quite fanatical, but I rarely miss it). So I was looking forward with great relish to the season finale (this past Sunday), and the impending conflict between Hearst and the camp. And it boils down to... nothing??? Sure, it was sad that the girl got killed... but not a single gun shot? I mean, c'mon. After all that build up? People bringing in guns from every corner of the west? And then... NOTHING? Seriously disappointing. Not quite as bad as the glowing half-breed alien child saving the day in the series finale of "V," but still...

2006-08-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

New Game - Food Chain!!!

Just finished another new Flash game, and I don't mind saying that this one is pretty addictive. Give it a try and let me know what you think.

2006-08-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Muth-f***ing Snakes on a mutha-f***ing plane is mutha-f***ing fun

Did anyone really think it wouldn't be? What could better than Samuel L. Jackson defending a plane full of character stereotypes from vicious, pheremone-crazed snakes? It's got everything you'd hope for - snakes killing people during sex, snakes biting people on their naughty parts, snakes in microwaves, a cool "snake-cam" kinda thing... in short, it's awesome. Please, don't go if you're looking for an introspective character piece - spare us the "this movie was terrible" crap. Everyone else - have fun!

2006-08-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Final Destination 3 on DVD

So, by now the story is pretty familiar - some folks cheat death for whatever reason, death gets pissed, death comes back around with all sorts of creatively horrific ways to finish off the offenders. Nothing terrible new or exciting in this installment, however - props to the writers for creating a veritable Rube Goldberg competition of convoluted ways to die. Seriously - the mind boggles at how they come up with this stuff. The gory visual effects are well done, and the final scene is excellent.

2006-08-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

Inside Man on DVD

Sorry again for the long pause, been working on another new game. Managed to see Inside Man last night (which is now out on DVD) and it's worth a look. It was directed by Spike Lee, which seemed a bit of a departure - it is a heist movie. The story was quite good, Clive Owen is pretty badass, obviously. Nice "weasel" performance turned in by Jodie Foster. Spike's trademark depiction of racial tension shows up, but feels oddly out of place in this faster-paced setting. If you haven't seen it, definitely worth a rent. Now, back to programming...

2006-07-22T19:25:00.000-07:00

Monster House is Pretty Cool

The story of Monster House is actually a bit deeper than the commercials make it out to be. The animation is pretty amazing. Actually, it hits the level of amazing where it occasionally looks... odd. That threshold between 3d and reality, where really good animation winds up looking like really bad reality. And it only happens with the "human" actors - everything else is top notch.

It's interesting too, that different ages will get different things out of the film (mine did anyway). Really young kids (2-4) will think it's actually scary. A little older (6 and up) will think it's a riot. "Oh my god... you're a dork!" got huge laughs. Certainly worth taking the kids too, probably not one you'll rush out to buy on DVD. Enjoy!

2006-07-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

New online game, or... Where the hell have I been?

Sorry for the stupidly long time between posts. I won't say I'm super-prolific when blogging, but over a month is pretty long. Hopefully it's okay, since I've been working on and just finished a new online game called Frontal Assault, which you can see on the regular Kaffeen web site.

Give it a try and let me know what you think. I like old-school arcade games quite a bit, especially on the web. Simplicity and accessibility are underrated, in my opinion.

That's not to say that PS2 and PC games with ZOMGWTFBBQPWNZOR graphics and sound aren't great, but fun gameplay is fun gameplay and it's sometimes more enjoyable to spend a few minutes with a simple game.

Anyway, stay tuned as I already have another game in the works.

2006-05-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

Over the Hedge is great!

The story of Over the Hedge isn't anything too spectacular, but the cast, writing, and flawless site gags are pulled off so well you won't care. This is the least annoying I've ever heard Garry Shandling (apologies Garry, but your voice can get a tad nasally), and the performances turned in by Shatner and Carell are simply hysterical.

If you have kids, take them to this movie. If you don't have kids, borrow someone else's and take to this movie. Absolutely worth it.

No comment on the official PS2 game of the movie - played with it a little bit, and it appears to be a standard marketing-drivel platformer. I wish they'd stop doing that.

2006-05-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

Kung Fu Hustle = Awesome

This movie has been out for a while, and is one of the movies that generally sounds ignorable. I happened to catch it on cable last night, and I have to say - it was great! Terrific mix of campy comedy, martial arts mayhem, some really good wire work, and computer effects that pulled everything together. If you haven't seen Kung Fu Hustle, I highly recommend it!

2006-05-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

Holy crap Aeon Flux was bad...

Like "force yourself to sit through it to the end in the hopes that something might salvage it..." bad. Like "you know, Charlize Theron isn't really THAT attractive..." bad. Like "Showgirls" bad... yeah. If you liked the animated series from back in the day, I'd suggest you go re-watch that and just pretend they never made a movie of it.

I have to go wash my eyeballs...

2006-04-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

V for Cool

Finally got a chance to see V for Vendetta this past weekend. First off, props to Hugo Weaving for pulling off an excellent role deprived of an actor's primary tool. Second, very cool movie. Dystopian future, corrupt governments, freedom fighters... and whirly knives flying through the air (and then into bad guys). What's not to love? Interesting (and nice) to see a Wachowski bros. movie driven more by the story than by action scenes, though the action scenes were quite well done.

This one is loud enough to warrant seeing in the theatre, but if you miss it it's definitely worth a rent.

2006-04-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

Has Peter Jackson jumped the shark?!?!?

Saw King Kong on DVD this weekend and I can't even tell you how disappointed I was. I really wanted to like the remake, being a big fan of Jackson and a huge fan of the original, stop-motion classic. After 3+ plus hours of soulful close-ups of what was obviously a very expensive computer model, I didn't care what happened to poor old Kong. The point at which the movie lost me? The pathetically contrived "second wave" of bugs attacking the would-be rescuers at the bottom of the trench. Okay, giant bugs, yeah - cool. However, wave 1 of giants bugs conveniently followed by wave 2 of giant-er bugs... OH C'MON! And while Adrien Brody is a very talented fellow, he made a less-than-believable action star going hand over hand down that vine with Ann hanging from his shoulders (no, I don't ask for too much believability from a movie with giant apes and dinosaurs, but seriously...). At the point where Kong and Miss Darrow were frolicking in the NY snow, I went to get a snack.

Props to Jack Black for trying a more serious role, I didn't think he pulled it off though. Every time he'd look sideways at someone I'd start cracking up. The movie wasn't all bad - the bloodthirsty natives were wonderful, and the Kong vs. T-rex fight was pure bone-crunching goodness. The development of the relationship between Ann and Kong was well handled to begin with, but was too overdone.

Sadly, I can't even recommend renting this one. Wait for cable.

2006-04-13T14:07:00.000-07:00

Holy crap - Terminator here we come!

Check this out. There's no image with the article, but the mental image called to mind are those skull-crushing tank-things from the opening scenes of Terminator. That or the Crushinator from Futurama.

2006-04-06T18:15:00.001-07:00

Podcasts are so lame.

The idea isn't, of course. I love the idea of Everyman making their own radio show at home. So much creativity is lost in the sea of corporations that dominate the web.

No, podcasts are lame because of the ridiculous media frenzy and "buzz" that surrounds the term. A podcast is really just an mp3 file (yes, I know it's attached to an RSS feed, blah blah blah - the content is an mp3 file, plain and simple). You don't need an ipod, an iriver, an irazr, an ibrandedpieceofcrap ^TM. I listen to podcasts on my regular old computer... shocking, I know. My current favorite is iMomus from over at wired.com (here's his latest).

I just think it's funny, because according to the latest statistics, I may very well be one of the only people in the country actually listening to the darn things... and I don't even own an ibrandedpieceofcrap. That's right folks, basically it looks as though around 1% of web surfers download podcasts. To put that in perspective - more people respond to those dreadfully cheesy viagra spam e-mails, than download podcasts. Ouch. Maybe if we just call them mp3's again?

2006-03-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

Airports are like banner ads... web "gurus" are funny.

So, I subscribe to this newsletter and was reading this article and it struck me, all of a sudden, how stupid the article really was.

In the article, in case you're too lazy to read it, the author takes a well-designed airport in Canada and launches into a litany of how web marketers could learn from the airport when designing banner ads. Seriously...

Anyway, just thought it was funny. The other day I bought a swim suit and it was so nice it made me think of several things that architects should keep in mind when designing buildings... :)

2006-03-30T07:05:00.000-08:00

Indie games are cool. This guy has made some amazing stuff, my favorite 3 being:

http://www.eyezmaze.com/grow/v3/
http://www.eyezmaze.com/grow/RPG/index.html
http://www.eyezmaze.com/grow/cube/index.html

What's fun about them? They're just purely addictive. Think back to your first puzzle... your first rubick's cube... There are almost no instructions, there are no amazing sound effects, there are no rendered 3-D graphics. But everyone who tries these games works on them for HOURS. A friend of mine actually went through and built a spreadsheet of all the sequences of moves she made to try and win the original one (she was quite upset when it turned out there seems to be more than just one viable sequences).

What makes a game addictive? Good question... what makes a book a page turner? What makes a movie that won't let you out of your seat? Not sure atm, guess I'll have to think about that one. Anyway, enjoy the games.

2006-03-28T19:10:00.000-08:00

Not much to report today... other than the fact that it seriously sucks when the World of Warcraft servers are down. All of them. For several hours now. It's hard to get too worked up about it. The logical part of the brain reminds me it's just a game, it's just a few hours, and it's like 46 cents worth of my monthly bill. The immature part of the brain basically swears a lot about how lame it is that I pay to have the service available to me when I have a few free hours to play and, during those few free hours, I can't.

Brains are strange like that, aren't they? Stupid brains...

2006-03-25T00:38:00.000-08:00

Do you think entertainment is fundamentally changing? I do. When I was a kid, I watched cartoons religiously on Saturday morning, and after school for 2 hours each day. That was the only time they were on. Now? I barely watch TV. I play PS2 and WoW far more than I watch TV. All I watch regularly are South Park and 24. Speaking of which... do you think Isaac was angry at the way they brought back his character? HAHAHAHA...

Back on topic, I am far more likely to watch a movie on On Demand than I am to watch some crappy "reality" show. Then you get to the web, sites like youtube.com, angryalien.com, and jibjab.com... these are infinitely more entertaining than TV. Indie games, either playable on the web or on your computer, may not have the cinematic effects of a PS2 game, but some of them are just as fun. Entertainment is breaking out of traditional channels... that's pretty awesome.

Not sure what this all means. My guess? If you own stock in a movie theatre chain or a broadcast TV station, you might think about selling now and investing in a cable company, phone company (movies brought to you by AT&T, coming soon!), or one of these user-content driven web sites. Just a thought, I might be wrong...

2006-03-19T16:52:00.000-08:00

Movie: A History of Violence

This just came out last week on DVD. The story is kind of cool - small town cafe owner kills two would-be robbers, and brings the attention of the mob (which thinks he's a former hit man). While there was nothing... amazing... about the movie in any particular way, it was pretty compelling. The way the characters change towards each other as Viggo starts killing folks was interesting, and the action sequences (though brief) were pretty good. Thumbs up for some good gore shots, too (Viggo smashes a guy's nose up into his brain, and the make up effects are awesome). The ending was unfulfilling, but felt true enough.

http://www.historyofviolence.com/

Definitely worth a rent.

2006-03-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

I work in web development and spend at least 60% of my waking hours connected to the web, and yet I've never blogged. Thought I'd give it a try.

Coming soon:
Random thoughts about the web, video games, movies, Flash, animation, indie (and I mean REALLY indie) video game development, and the oddness of life in general.